Everyone is in official freak out mode.
“I can’t wait for fall!”
“Fall is here, I’m sooo excited. Love.”
“Autumn is the most beautiful time of the year!”
“Omg I heart October.”
It’s like mother nature is passing out crack to everyone. People are running around, gushing and crying over pumpkin bread, pea coats, and falling leaves.
I have to say, I have a love/hate relationship with this time of the year.
I do cherish Fall for a couple of reasons:
1. Thanksgiving is the only time of the year where people don’t expect me to cook or bake for them. Amen.
…don’t get me wrong, I obviously love cooking and baking. It’s just that a lot of people tend to expect something from me/ask for handouts. We also need an occasional break, even from the things we love. So this is the one time when somebody feeds ME. Awesome.
2. Halloween night. Dressing up in epic costumes.
…Let’s face it. If you are in your early thirties or younger, this is your once-a-year opportunity to dress like a whore and get away with it. If you are older than thirties and still dress like a whore, then bravo. Even some of the men try to dress like whores. The typical process is to take whatever concept you are dressing up as and insert, “slutty” before it.
slutty Sarah Palin
slutty hooker ..?.?.?
This stuff is hilarious. It’s not just the costumes, it’s the candy too. If you read my blog, you know I have a sweet tooth.
Then there is a part of me that absolutely loathes every second of the fall.
1. If you think leaves are so pretty, then when I move out of the city and have a yard I will personally invite you over to rake them. Raking leaves was the most annoying chore growing up because the rake is not an effective tool. There were always leaves left behind. Darnit.
2. Fall means we are closer to winter. The temperature is beginning to drop. Dropping temperature and winter nearing means snow, darkness, misery. Screw you fall and your ripping the warm summer weather away from my tight and desperate grip. Now if you live in a warmer area of the US like, say, California or Florida, then you don’t have a real fall to begin with.
3. Some people get all excited about wearing scarves and warm, comfy clothes. I look at it as finding my missing glove, bundling up until I can’t breathe, scratchy materials and breaking out in rashes. I will be spending triple the amount of money for a full outfit. Now why would anyone want to do that?
And worst of all:
4. Fall is a very cruel time of year. Once a year, millions of people collect these poor creatures and stab them to death right in front of their own children’s eyes. Afterwards these creatures are gutted and even worse, put on display for others to witness the result of their torture. This is a serious problem that our country has swept under the rug for too long. We as a society have focused on animal cruelty, but what about the pumpkins?
WARNING: The images you are about to see are graphic and violent in nature. Viewer discretion is advised.
I understand that this is difficult to look at, but we must face the truth of our mistakes. This image is just one example of thousands of ways people torture and mutilate these defenseless pumpkins.
For those pumpkins who are able to survive the torture, they are held as prisoners in people’s yards. Here is an example of a prisoner who was forced to murder his own flesh and blood. Although he is still alive, the emotional stress will last with him forever.
These pumpkin creatures have resorted to a life of alcoholism and substance abuse as a means of coping with the post traumatic stress disorder. They will be scarred and mutilated for the duration of their lives.
Some pumpkins aren’t so lucky. This baby pumpkin was murdered for its skin, which is a high priced commodity in the fashion industry.
An organization named PETA…P (People for the Ethical Treatment of All… Pumpkins) is infamous for splashing paint onto anyone wearing pumpkin skin. Watch out, you little pug, you. You’re next.
A bunch of babies posing with giant pumpkins. A rarity amongst the pumpkin species, and therefore priceless. Their intense size and the ability to make miniature things (such as babies) appear even more miniature, make them even more desirable to humans. PETA…P is currently campaigning against pumpkin poachers in the wild farms of Vermont. It’s only a matter of time before they become extinct.
Once the skin is used, people often use their insides for consumption. Even Starbucks uses pumpkin guts for their own profit. Have you no shame??
If we don’t pay attention to this problem, the pumpkins could become extinct.
Even worse, they could start a revolution and wage war against human kind.
Be warned, people. One day the tables could turn.
Here is what you need for pumpkin pie shots (or pumpkin pie infused vodka),
- A pumpkin pie (homemade, store or bakery-bought.. that is for you to decide)
– Vodka (you can use rum too, or whatever liquor you think would pair well with pumpkin flavor)
– a mason jar (or two)
First, grab your ingredients.
For every one cup of liquor you should use between a quarter to a half of a pie, 1-3 teaspoons of cinnamon, and a tablespoon of sugar. You can leave the sugar out if you like. Cinnamon depends on how much you like its flavor. I used a little less than 2 teaspoons.
The sugar helps cut the sting of the liquor, but if you use a good quality liquor and plan on infusing it for a long period of time then you may not need it.
Now this is important:
If you want a shot that is like creamy pumpkin pie, then use half of a pie. You will not need to let the pie sit in the vodka or liquor for very long. I stored mine for about a week.
Let me clarify this whole infusion thing. I stored mine for a week, but I can handle a very strong vodka shot. If you like more of a girly shot, you will want to add MORE SUGAR, use MORE PIE, LESS VODKA, and A LOT MORE TIME to let it sit.
These are one of those recipes, where everyone’s opinion of a good shot will differ so you will need to use YOUR own judgement. Shake it and taste it every few days to see how the mixture is coming along, and to decide if you need to add more of an ingredient.
If you like girly drinks with little liquor flavor, then obviously a few days of infusion is not going to work for you. Sorry, but if you are picky, then you will have to be much more patient.
If you want to just have vodka with the infusion of pumpkin pie flavor, versus a creamy and much thicker pumpkin pie shot, then use a quarter of a pie or less. You will need to let it sit in the vodka for much, much longer, until the pie really breaks down so that you can filter it out more.
Now begin by pouring all of your ingredients into a bowl and breaking the pie down really well with a spoon.
You could technically use a blender, if you wanted to.
Once mixed together, pour into a mason/canning jar.
I used an entire pie with about a cup of vodka, so I had to divide the mixture between two jars.
Let it sit for as long as possible. I don’t believe you need to keep it in the fridge (liquor tends to preserve) but I felt paranoid so I stored mine there anyway.
Since I wanted a pie shot, I used a sieve (my mom calls it a colander. potato, potato)
I want to only get rid of the large chunks. If you are going for the flavored vodka, you will be using a cheese cloth. You will probably also have to filter more than once.
Mix it around until it begins to filter through.
If you are going to be using the cheese cloth, then place the cloth into the sieve. Mix with spoon. You can squeeze the mixture in the cloth to get out more vodka. It will be more work, of course, to filter out a more “pure” vodka.
When ready to serve, dip the rims of your shot glasses in melted butter then roll in graham cracker crumbs.
Pour in pumpkin pie vodka. Top with a dollop of whip cream and garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon. If you do not like sweetness, then leave out the whip cream.
Now here is a good reason to celebrate Autumn.
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