I clearly cannot let go of Mardi Gras. I promise you one day that I will be there.
This is not to say that I have never visited NOLA. We stopped by during a more ambiguous time of year for a wedding.
Two things are for certain:
1. I would gain the weight of two elephants if I lived there. The food is fantastic. For example, I refuse to eat oysters. I will try them upon request, however, it typically slides down with a gag and a tummy rumble. New Orleans is the only place I have found myself not only tolerating oysters, but absolutely ecstatic about them. Granted, they are grilled with parmesan and butter.
I mean, everything is good. Hence the fact that I would 100% die of a heart attack/food coma happiness.
There is no doubt in my mind I would end up looking like the chick from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.
Not the one on the left. That’s actually a guy. The one on the right.
(By the way, I am not making fun of overweight people. I am stating as a simple fact that I would eat enough calories to result in weight gain. I understand what a horrible day-to-day struggle obesity can be. The movie is actually quite sad too, come to think about it. Alas, I fail yet again at being funny. Doom. I did, however, make fun of Johnny Depp. By mistake.)
2. If I were ever to attend Mardi Gras I would insist on wearing a chastity belt. Not to prevent myself from making poor decisions, but to keep nasty little hands away from my lady bits.
I visited the famous Pat O’Brien’s for a Hurricane (a delicious drink that I enjoyed while someone else I know broke out in hives after consuming). While posing for a photo by some random fountain, a gentleman walked by and raked my special part with his fingers.
WOW. This was a slow night. I can only imagine when the streets are filled with drunken men and flashing ladies (or broads?).
So perhaps next year I will finally fulfill my dream of going to Mardi Gras. With oysters and Po’Boys in one hand, Hurricane in another, and a chastity belt one size up to make room for my growing belly.
I will also be wearing these edible beads I created. No flashing required.
Here is What You Need For Edible Bead Necklaces
- a drill
- clean drill bits (these are the parts you attach to the front of the drill that spin in a spiral and create the hole, for you non-handy people out there. you know who you are.)
for small gumballs: I used 5/64
for medium gumballs: I used 7/64
for large gumballs: 1/8
..you do not need to use these exact sizes, feel free to experiment
- a push pin
- a needle (for small and medium gumballs)
-a skewer or knitting needle (for large gumballs)
- thin ribbon or string
SO I THOUGHT I WAS A TOTAL GENIUS FOR COMING UP WITH THIS IDEA BUT SOMEONE ELSE DID FIRST. What the heck. Excuse me while I eat my emotions through a bowl of Jambalaya. That s**t is good.
These people use a metal skewer to create the holes. I prefer my drill because I like feeling, uh, handy. And it is super fast. It’s your call.
Please head over to One Charming Party to see how they do it as well. There is a link at the bottom of this post because you really do not want to skip out on the cupcake part. I swear.
You need a drill. This help prevents the gum from cracking when creating holes on each side.
Grab your drill bits. No, I did not say lady bits. DRILL bits. If you need to purchase the drill bit(s) you can buy them individually.
You will also need thin ribbon or string, a push pin, and needles (or skewer).
Use a push pin to pierce a hole on each end of the gumball.
Then select the appropriate drill bit. As you can see, I purchase large (and when I mead large, these were jumbo-sized), medium (these were about the size of the ones from the gumball machines in the mall), or small (these are the kinds you find sold in the candy aisle of the grocery store).
Drill through each pierced hole on both sides. Then drill all the way through to make certain it is a clear passageway for your ribbon.
These are my medium-sized gumballs after they had been drilled. Notice the yellow look almost golden? They now sell in some candy stores and online a new type of gumball called shimmer gumballs. Good stuff.
You can use a sewing needle to string the ribbon or string through the medium or small gumballs. Take note, the small gumballs require a particularly thin ribbon/string and needle.
The sewing needles were not long enough for the large, so use either a skewer or a knitting needle to push it through. I create a loop with the ribbon, then poked the top of the loop through one hole and out the other side.
Once you have all of your edible beads on a ribbon/string, tie the ends together into a bow or knot.
Purrrty. These are medium and large gumball necklaces.
..I was advised to show more of myself on the blog. Defeat. I will model the necklaces for you:
This is almost as embarrassing as the mustache cake pop photo shoot.
After my 50th fish face pose, I gave up and did whatever.
Don’t forget to eat your necklace, it being edible and all. And flex your guns, of course.
Or just swing it around at the parade and rub it in everyone’s face that you don’t need to flash for beads. You already have your own. Roasted.
Notice how I am not wearing the small ones? That’s because my cupcakes are wearing them.
All I did was dye my frosting and pipe on cupcakes. You do not need to color your frosting, you can just use white. You don’t even need to pipe it out. You could just spoon it on if you desire.
I then refrigerated it. Added sprinkles, and draped these mini gumball necklaces over the top. Press the back of the necklaces into the frosting to hold them in place. If you find that your frosting is not firm enough, or that it is beginning to soften/melt, pop in the freezer for a few minutes.
I mean, seriously.
Maybe Johnny Depp will take me to NOLA next year.
If you think these cuppies are cuter than a puppy Youtube video (sorry Vanessa, I can’t help it!), then check out my Mardi Gras cookies here.
Don’t forget to visit One Charming Party to see how they make their gumball necklaces, here. (They didn’t put them on cupcakes, so mini victory for me)
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